My Fabulously Boring Life in Somerville

Stepping out of the Frame

2009-08-06T07:13:00.001-07:00

Farewell, fab-bo life in Somerville. Hello, life somewhere else!

www.roadmuse.com

Blossoms and Shadows and Trees (oh my!)

2009-06-27T09:03:00.000-07:00

A Watercolor Skyline

2009-06-24T15:44:00.000-07:00

A view of Boston from the Mount Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge. Apparently, back in the day, you could see ships in the harbor from this vantage point.

BTW, these are not actually watercolors, they're photos, but they sure do feel like watercolor. There must be at least 12 shades of gray in there.

Springtime Perambulations in New England

2009-06-24T15:37:00.001-07:00

A sunny afternoon at Sheepfold Meadow. A drizzly morning at the Mount Auburn Cemetery. These were some of our first springtime rambles after winter seemed to finally thaw. How wonderful to enjoy New England again without the bitter cold standing in our way!

May Flowers

2009-06-24T15:02:00.000-07:00

Some of the many flowers and blossoms that burst on the scene starting in late April and early May. It is now late June and we are still in springtime mode, with more rain than is really necessary (though of course if I were a flower, I might disagree with that pronouncement).

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Blog Night

2009-06-14T14:34:00.000-07:00

How do you know when a blog is finished? How do you know when to throw in the proverbial towel? (or in this case, URL)? I guess you could ask yourself the same question for every endeavor in life, from a job to a relationship, though blogs seem particularly hard to let go of, since they occur virtually and out of real time, and thus could, with minor tweaking (and access to passwords), actually continue after the blogger's demise (uh, don't get any ideas...)

For me it is a matter of inspiration, or, to put it metaphorically, whether there is water in the well, or coming through the faucet. This particular blog spigot feels tapped out, for no particular reason except that it does. Oh, there are dribs and drabs, but nothing requiring a bucket to fill, no danger of a floody mess.

So what's next? Perhaps - if we can keep beating this poor metaphor to death - I will use my water divining rod to find the next source of inspiration (though I feel I already know what it is, to be revealed soon!). And maybe it's just a matter of moving the spigot over a few feet, or twisting some pipes back in place (ok, enough of the metaphor, I'm not a licensed plumber for cryin' out loud!)

Meanwhile, I have a whole heap o' photos to post before I quit, a photographic last hurrah if you will. Thanks for reading and I promise I'll leave a forwarding address!

Springtime on Spring Hill

2009-04-30T07:03:00.000-07:00

Um, er, hello....long time no blog...missed ya...

I haven't blogged in so long I don't remember how!

Anyway, it doesn't matter. What matters is that winter is over, spring is in the air, and the colors are bringing life back to the landscape, and to my winter-addled brain! And I wonder: Is this how New Englanders became so taciturn - by losing the habit of speech during long winters when they were snowed in?

I don't know. All I know is that I can leave the house without swaddling myself in 20 pounds of clothing, and I can walk without feeling like I'm a ship being blown about at sea. Birds are singing, people are smiling, delicious plans are being made for summer -- oh sweet summer! But be careful what you wish for - the temperature has already climbed to 93 and it's only April (that was the day we decided to paint the front porch; Mensa candidates 'r' us!).

(By the way, is it just me, or do those tulips look a little David Lynch-ish?)

In Like a Lion

2009-03-02T11:10:00.000-08:00

After a couple of weeks of thawing temps, it snowed again yesterday, the first day of March. In fact, it's snowing right now. It snowed all night, and well into the morning. I had trouble opening the front door; there was, like, almost a foot of snow!

I can't say I'm displeased. The last few weeks have been exceptionally dull, a sort of neither/nor blankness that makes it hard to imagine anything else. I'd forgotten about this sort of "fifth season" that happens in New England: a time when any lingering holiday spirit or winter magic is really and truly gone, and the need for spring, for warmth and flowers, becomes so intense that you would almost sell your soul to have it (hence the sudden desire to move to a soulless place like Los - no, I won't mention any names).

So the snow is a nice distraction. I still feel excited about looking outside and seeing the world covered in white. And there are some fringe benefits. A healthy 45 minutes of shoveling, and - hurrah - I don't have to go to the gym. In fact, there is really no need to go anywhere right now. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

February Thaw

2009-02-18T08:24:00.000-08:00

Some pics of last weekend - the beginning of the first thaw. Water has been busy doing its thing, turning from snow to ice to water again. Do humans go through a freezing and a thawing time as well? I have noticed more smiles lately, and more people saying Hello than in the last couple of months. But maybe it's because we are no longer dressed as abominable snowmen, thus more recognizable as fellow humans.

Winter Whites and Blues

2009-01-30T09:35:00.000-08:00

It's official. Winter has set in with a vengeance. Life has slowed down here almost to a crawl. The phone has stopped ringing and I'm considering cutting off service. Who needs friends anyway? I've got a subscription to Netflix!

Oh well. Spring will come (at least that's what everyone tells me, in the rare moments of human contact that I do have).

Meanwhile, there are things to notice. A hawk. Ice on a branch. Blue sky exploding behind a tree.

Updike

2009-01-27T16:30:00.000-08:00

I was just scanning the BBC headlines and I saw that writer John Updike has died. I don't know why, but the news shocked me. He is one of those figures who seems to have been around forever - solid and immortal, like a building.

I haven't read any of his books in ages, but I remember reading him in high school and envying his way with words. Not to mention the, uh, juicy bits.

Here's a quote from a section in the obits called "Updike in his own words," about what sets a writer apart:

"There's a kind of confessional impulse that not every literate, intelligent person has. A crazy belief that you have some exciting news about being alive, and I guess that more than talent is what separates those who do it from those who think they'd like to do it. That your witness to the universe can't be duplicated, that only you can provide it, and that it's worth providing."
Boston Globe, 1990

A Few Words About the Crowds

2009-01-24T13:17:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned in an earlier post, many people felt compelled to warn me about "the crowds" before we went to the inauguration last week. While my response was perhaps a bit flippant at the time ("I've lived in the densest capital city in Western Europe; I can handle Obama crowds"), it really is something which has been on my mind, as a subtext to this entire event. And so I ask myself now: What about the crowds? How were they? What was it like to be in a place where MILLIONS of people congregated, in the US of A?

Well, first of all, I can't speak for what the crowds on the Mall were like, because we never got on there. No tickets, no luck. But I can say that I was surrounded by hundreds and possibly thousands of people at several points throughout the day (a little like Paris during the sales). We found ourselves in enormously long lines to buy Metro tickets, to get into the gates to see the parade, and then to go home from Union Station. At all these points the possibility for stress and conflict was high - and I can easily imagine other situations where fights might have broken out (I'm thinking mainly about sporting events). Yet the mood was calm. People were patient. There was a sense of, "We've waited 400 years for this to happen, we can wait another hour or two!" I talked to one woman who had been waiting to get onto the Mall since 5 in the morning and never got on - yet she was not bitter, or complaining. She was just happy to be part of the history in the making, part of the event.

If only every crowd could be like the ones we experienced, I think people who normally hate crowds (like me, often) would change their thinking about them. Honestly, everyone around us was so polite, kind, so - how can I put it? - downright NICE, I felt my latent misanthropy slowly melt away (and in truth, I think everyone was too cold to start a fuss!). No one pushed, no one shoved - a woman shared her Tic-Tacs with me - it really felt like everyone was on their best behavior. At one point outside the parade gates, a few people who were complaining and pushing got seriously chastised by the people around them. Peer pressure in the name of civility! I love it. Which speaks volumes about Obama, and the kind of energy he puts out and creates. Contrast that with the testosterone-fueled energy of sporting events - what a difference. Maybe so many Americans hate crowds because crowds here so often lean towards violence (or that's the perception)? Because our collective unconscious remembers things like Kent State, or race riots, and the fact of police shooting at citizens? Or because we are just by nature wary of the power of mass protest?

Perhaps part of the Obama legacy will be a raised level of civic awareness, so that Americans can learn how to be in crowds peacefully, and joyfully, without the usual fear or distrust in the equation. I would hope this could be created without the need for so many security forces - that we could learn to trust eachother, and ourselves, without someone in uniform scaring us all into submission. Well, that's another dream for another day. For now, I'm just happy that things were as surprisingly pleasant as they were. Another bonus point to add to the evergrowing Obama pile!

Showing Up for History

2009-01-23T11:39:00.000-08:00

We're back from our trip and I am still dazed by the experience. Were we really there? I look at the photos and can't believe we were. It has already become a blur of driving, looking at maps, standing in the cold, and having dozens of small conversations with strangers who didn't feel like strangers, in a country that felt like home for the first time in a very long time.

I think that is what will stay with me the most - the people I met and who I stood next to: all so different but all connected by the same desire for change. All there in one place, on one day, for one person, in the form of Obama -- but also for a shared set of ideals that is much larger than one man. Yes, I felt that. A dream of society which I carried with me once, long ago, a dream my mother gave me (as Obama's mother gave him), and some teachers and leaders tried to help me remember, but which lost force over the years, as I gave in to the easier path of cynicism and apathy.

There have been plenty enough superlatives going around the internet in the last few days, and plenty enough written about the event, so I'll just say one more thing: I'm glad we were there.

As Alessandra Stanley writes in the NYT:

"Television celebrated a new president making history, but the screen also belonged to those millions in Washington who made history just by showing up."

I hope that in future times of darkness and cynicism (which are bound to occur), people will look back and remember this event as evidence that, with the right kind of leadership and inspiration, Americans can come together peacefully, truly as one people, one nation. (And what more proof do we need than to know that in a crowd of maybe over 2 million, there was not a single arrest or violent event?)

(You can see a little video we made of our trip on www.roadmuse.com)

Showing Up for History, Part 2 (images)

2009-01-23T07:08:00.000-08:00

We're Off to See Obama!

2009-01-19T04:24:00.000-08:00

We said we would go, then we said we wouldn't, then we said we would - and now we're going. Yes, it's winter, and there is snow all over the place, not my favorite time to start a road trip. And yes, I know there will be humungous crowds in DC (I swear, if one more person tells me about the crowds, my head is going to explode! I lived for over 6 years in the mostly densely populated city in western europe - I think I can handle Obama crowds for a few hours).

So that's all - just a quick note to whoever happens to be awake or on the computer right now, breathlessly awaiting my next installment (ha!).

Stay tuned for photos, anecdotes, and more!

Winter Sunset

2009-01-18T09:26:00.001-08:00

Winter Abstract

2009-01-17T13:42:00.001-08:00

Snowstorm the Third

2009-01-17T13:25:00.000-08:00

These are some images of last weekend's snowstorm. I would have posted them sooner but life has been so busy lately. Winter in New England is full of all sorts of fun and exciting activities! This morning, for example, we spent a few hours dealing with the bathtub drain, which had become clogged, possibly due to a frozen pipe. It was an eye-opening, as well as drain-opening, experience. Why, I didn't know human beings even had so much body hair to lose.

(On a practical note, if this ever happens to you, I highly recommend the Lowe's online how-to library as a resource. It saved us a lot of time and aggravation, most significantly by explaining to us what kind of drain we had, so that were able to remove the tub stopper by loosening something called a "set screw." Yes, I know, purely fascinating information - and you thought I was kidding with the title of this blog??)

Chilly Scenes of Winter

2009-01-17T12:39:00.000-08:00

Nothing much to report these days, except that it's cold. Temps in the low teens during the day, lower at night. The other night the temperature went down to 1 degree fahrenheit, which is pretty darn cold no matter how you slice it. I imagine the number 1, a cold thin wraith of a number, shivering against a clanking radiator, trying to suck whatever warmth it can.

The city of Somerville is taking the cold very seriously. They left a recorded message on our home phone with information about "warming centers" where people without heat or shelter can go. We are so lucky to have heat, and insulated windows, and a stove to cook on, and a fireplace - what luxuries! There is nothing like being cold to make you grateful for what you have. Returning home after being outside has become a supremely pleasurable experience in and of itself.

Elephant Memories

2009-01-05T19:08:00.000-08:00

This little guy gets the prize for most original (and possibly easiest) outdoor holiday decoration in my neighborhood.

It also reminds me that I want to host a white elephant party soon - you know, where you wrap up unwanted gifts (or items from your house that you never use) and make a game of swapping them. You can read gobs about this phenomenon here - as well as see tons of different names for it (my favorite is "Steal Old Man Christmas's Bindle"). Several years ago, I got a Dinah Shore cookbook at a white elephant swap. I sold and gave away most of my books when I left Paris, but guess which one I held onto?

Funny the things you grow attached to. Something about that green sweater, I think.

A Walk in Olde Cambridge

2009-01-05T17:10:00.000-08:00

Cambridge, Mass, that is - these are buildings in the Harvard Divinity School courtyard. But it does feel like Professor Dumbledore could come around a corner at any moment.

One thing I didn't notice while taking these photos (probably since I was balancing a cup of hot chocolate in my freezing, mitten-clumsy hands), is the pattern on the walkway in the third photo, the way it mimics the tree branches. And hey - there's a bird looking backwards in the last photo (can you find it?).

In Defense of Blogging (a brief polemic)

2009-01-05T09:07:00.000-08:00

I think it was Katherine Hepburn who said that there is nothing more invigorating than a good enemy. In a similar vein, I often feel that my creative self is strengthened by adversarial comments as much as by praise. Perhaps because it is in the process of defending myself and my art, that I get the most clarity and purpose about what I'm doing and where I want to go. It's not always a pleasant process, but the end result almost always leaves me stronger and heartier than I was before. Kind of like swallowing cod liver oil.

Hence this little dissertation on blogging - what it means to me, why I do it, and why I will defend it to the end, both to real or imagined detractors. (side note: this photo is not directly related to blogging - it's just my bulletin board which is what I happen to be looking at while at my desk.)

What's motivating me to defend myself anyway? Well, recently a friend commented "I always thought of people who blog as having too much time on their hands." I don't know if this was aimed at me directly, but I certainly took offense. And I instantly thought of some of the blogs I read and admire - The Sartorialis t, A Dress A Day, Tea & Cookies, Blue Lotus, Karin's Style Blog, to name a few - by bloggers who seem, rather than having time on their hands, to have their hands on time. That is, to be extremely good at doing whatever they do (cooking, crafting, making dresses, taking photos) AND blogging about it. These are my role models, and I aspire to be more like them some day - more productive, more time-efficient, better at documenting my art and my journey.

But meanwhile, I blog because....I like it.

I like the way blogging gives me an outlet, a forum, a way to organize my thoughts and my vision. Far from being a time-waster, I feel that blogging is a very useful and therapeutic process which actually HELPS to get the energy moving for me to do other creative things. Moreover, it gives me the feeling of having an audience (even it's only two people), which is so essential to break the solitude of painting. Some people use drugs, some people use therapy (I have - but it's too expensive), some people use social activities (or facebook), or movies, or yoga, or whatever - all of which take that crucial ingredient - time. I don't see that blogging is necessarily more time-killing than anything else one does in a day. And it actually inspires me as much as or more than any of the activities listed above. And it's free!

At various times in my life I've heard the comment "You've got too much time on your hands," usually when i was doing something creative that had no end product in mind, i.e., no money or "goal" attached (and usually from people who seemed creatively frustrated themselves). No matter how busy I was with school or jobs or whatever, I ALWAYS found time to do something absolutely useless but creative - write songs, make cards, draw little cartoons, put on a play, or whatever. Are these things killing time? Or am I just "keeping the channel open" as Martha Graham instructs artists to do?* (see quote below)

So there you have it - a long answer to what was probably just a casual comment by a friend. Well, consider yourself more educated now about blogs and the creative process (and about me) ;-)

happy new year!

*Here is the full quotation, which inspires me each and every time I read it:
'"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others"' - Martha Graham

Blank Canvas Empty Mind

2009-01-03T14:04:00.000-08:00

Something - or rather, nothing - to start the New Year with.

Winter Song

2009-01-02T21:06:00.000-08:00

Just as I was lamenting not hearing enough music during this holiday season, I saw this man playing a barbeque grill (!) and singing his heart out at our local shopping center right before Christmas.

He wasn't playing a carol or holiday song, but I think his choice was very appropriate for right here, right now.

There is a beautiful photo essay on youtube featuring this song ("Streets of London" by Ralph McTell). Take a minute to listen and watch it, I promise it will add something to your day.

Cling Wrap Aquarium (holiday activity)

2009-01-01T14:28:00.000-08:00

Recipe for a Cling Wrap Aquarium

Ingredients:
-- one 2-and-a-half-year-old (with 2-and-a-half-year-old's imagination)
--one adult who is good with kids but sort of lazy (doesn't want to clean up water on the floor)
--some toy fish and sharks and stuff
--some big rocks and shells (optional)
--a colorful scarf (preferably blue/green color)
--plastic wrap

Arrange sea creatures, rocks, and shells on colored scarf or fabric (colored paper could also work). Remember from some old movie that giant squid likes to hide under rocks, and place him there, telling child authoritatively why you are doing so.

Cover everything with plastic wrap and pretend it's water (the child will believe you, if you believe it).

Sit back and hope the parents come home before the novelty of this activity wears off and the child panicks, thinking he is stuck with you forever.

Snowstorm Redux

2009-01-01T14:20:00.000-08:00

Regarding my earlier post, I should say that there was something exciting about New Year's Eve this year - we had a snowstorm. So that makes a perfect bookend for our snowstorm right before Christmas Eve. With all sorts of crazy, unseasonal and seasonal weather in between. Global warming or just general New England weather mayhem? Man, I keep thinking of those Puritans, arriving here from Merrie Olde Englande, thinking the weather here would be similarly mild. What a shock that must have been to have been proven so wrong.

Winter Shadows

2009-01-01T14:15:00.001-08:00

And here are some winter shadows, decidedly blue.

Afternoon Light Show

2009-01-01T14:09:00.000-08:00

I've been captivated by the midwinter light - especially on cold, clear days like today, when at 4 pm the world is full of hushed tones of blue and pink and gold. This kind of light only lasts a few minutes - a half an hour at most. I don't have time to paint it from life, but i can snap some photos.

Winter Whites

2009-01-01T14:04:00.002-08:00

These are some pics from the first snowstorm we had, right before christmas. It lasted exactly 24 hours and then the sun came out and everything looked liked it had been given a new coat of blindingly white paint.

New Year's Peeve

2008-12-31T21:24:00.000-08:00

Can we all just agree right now that New Year's Eve is the stupidest holiday ever invented? I mean, even Valentine's Day is more exciting. Then at least you can make little hearts out of doilies, and eat a lot of chocolate without feeling guilty. On New Year's Eve there is nothing to make or do - you are just supposed to "celebrate." But celebrate what? The beginning of winter? The end of the holidays? the reprisal of your diet? the departure of your in-laws? (Now that's worth a few fireworks...)

Tonight while sitting diligently through a "festive" dinner, I went through my mind to remember some of my "New Year Highlights", or should I say, "Lowlights"? I list them here for your perusal, in no particular order. For no reason except that I remember them and feel like dragging them out one more time - if only to remind myself why next year I should stay home and watch a movie and eat popcorn (which is exactly what I wanted to do this year, but got pulled into "celebrating.").

-- Well, there was that time in Spain when I almost choked to death trying to eat the obligatory 12 grapes at midnight - one grape for each strike of the clock bell. (Who thinks up these rituals anyway? Obsessive compulsives?) Later the man I was with got violently ill (probably from eating the grapes), threw up everywhere, and passed out. Happy Frickin' New Year!

-- Then there was another time, in high school, when I ended up on a couch making out with someone that I not only didn't like, but absolutely hated. Go figure. I think I may have been drinking Frangelico liqueur that night.

-- Oh, and let's not forget the time I slipped on ice and broke my elbow, while wearing ballerina slippers on a subzero New England night (yes, I was young and foolish then, and my mother told me to wear more sensible shoes, and she was right). Actually, that wasn't a New Year's Eve, but it felt so crappy - and ended so badly - that it could have been.

And there were others....they all blur together. Mostly what I remember about New Year's Eve is feeling cold and tired, being drunk but not happy-drunk, looking desperately for fun in various places and mostly finding stragglers like me looking for the same thing, and finally wanting only to go home. And then - oh joy! - waiting for a taxi, or a bus, or some way to get back that doesn't involve walking for miles and miles (though I've done that too).

I would say that I'm going to boycott New Year's Eve next year - but I say that every year. And every year I give it one more chance. If New Year's Eve was a person, I should have broken up with him a long time ago. This is a completely dysfunctional relationship.

(Note: I do not include Chinese New Year in this diatribe - because Chinese New Year makes so much more sense! Seasonally, it is closer to spring, and there are pretty fruit blossoms and interesting things to do and eat and a parade you can watch without wading through snow - usually, anyway.)

Resolutions for Les Autres

2008-12-31T17:43:00.000-08:00

My whole life I've tried to be a good person, and every single new year's I make a list of yet more things to improve on, get better at, be better at, etc etc.

Lately I've been thinking. This whole self-improvement, self-actualization thing has been exhausting, expensive, and overall a big waste of time.

I don't need to change another thing about myself. I'm fine the way I am - and anyway, did making resolutions for myself ever really change anything?

So I'm committed to making resolutions now only for other people. People, who, unlike me, really DO need to change. Here are some .

Stop killing eachother. I won't say which people in which countries I'm directing that to, but I think you can think of a few right off the top of your head. Listen, there are a lot of folks in my life who have pissed me off big time, as well as ripped me off, and even done physical harm to me and people I love. That doesn't mean that i have to KILL them. Solve your problems and grow up!

Stop hurting eachother. Again, this can apply to governments as well as individuals. Stop torturing, stop abusing, stop being MEAN to eachother. See a counselor, talk to the UN, talk to your priest, rabbi, spiritual leader, DEAL with it!

Stop consuming so much - OK, this applies to me too. But still. I am not living in a 10,000 square foot house with 10 bathrooms, driving a Hummer, or flying around in a private jet. Go get some therapy if your life feels empty. Plant a garden. Or start a blog!

Somerville Miscellany

2008-12-31T11:33:00.000-08:00

Today i'm posting leftover photos from 2008...this and that, here and there, above and beyond and in between the cracks.

These are from a walk sometime in December before the snowfall: 1) a window of collectibles, 2) cool vintage car with xmas tree, and 3) some characters from the "Jingle Bell Road Race" - an event we didn't participate in but caught the end of, while walking the dog.

More posts to follow (first I have to shovel some snow).

Night Trees in November

2008-12-31T10:36:00.000-08:00

Worst Creche in the World!

2008-12-30T11:32:00.000-08:00

This creche is outside a parochial school which I walk by every day. I'm not religious, nor am I advocating for any particular religion, but I have to ask what kind of message does it send to kids to have your religion's holy figures portrayed as blow-up dolls? And cheap, flimsy ones at that? Maybe this sort of creche would be OK in another climate, but here in New England it verges on the ridiculous. If I was religious, I would be deeply offended to see my school's creche buried like so much trash under the snow every other week, not to mention constantly blown around by wind (in this photo it looks more like a nativity scene on a raft, to be honest). Two thousand years of religious art, cathedrals, stained glass, and now this? Ladies and gentlemen, the separation of church and art is now official.

Ice Ice Baby!

2008-12-29T13:24:00.000-08:00

Icicles are another byproduct of winter that I had forgotten in my long absence from the chilly northeast.

One morning after the first snowfall they just appeared, both delighting and frightening me with their cold pointy tips. I amused myself on a walk thinking up names for them, until it got too cold and I had to duck into a coffeehouse to get warm.

Here are some names - can you think of others? (This could be a fun game to play when the power goes out.)

Jellyfish popsicles.
Fragile daggers.
Frigid hair. (Bonus pun!)
Icy knifey. (ok, that one is bad.)

French Impressionists in Winter?

2008-12-23T10:52:00.000-08:00

I see this house every day outside my bedroom window, but it wasn't until it was covered with snow that I thought of Gustave Caillebotte and his famous painting of snowy rooftops. It's something about the windows. There is another French Impressionist painting that this reminds me of, but I haven't figured out yet which one it is. If you find it, let me know!

A Tale of Two Snowmen

2008-12-23T10:48:00.000-08:00

One, deflated and flat, lying in the gutter. The other, bright and shiny, glowing in the coldest weather with arms outstretched. What makes one snowman survive and thrive, and the other one
fall so easily?

Frozen Trees

2008-12-23T10:46:00.000-08:00

This was before the big snowstorm. The ice was just a warm-up, if you will.

Make Like a Tree

2008-12-23T10:03:00.000-08:00

Autumn leaves. Yes, it does. It leaves to make way for winter. Winter couldn't come if the trees didn't shake their colors off to make room for snow instead. But I was so in love with autumn this year that I actually felt a bolt of depression when the last leaf fell. I feared that I would grow resentful of winter, and its leafless, more barren landscape, and end up wishing I lived somewhere where the leaves stayed neatly on the trees, thank you very much.

But I forgot about the negative space! The negative space which is in art and in life, and which plays off the "positive" space - like empty space in music or taking a breath between words. The wonderful patterns that branches make when they don't have leaves, the worlds of shapes that live between the branches and the sky. Not to mention the shadows, oh the delightful shadows! How could I have forgotten this?

A friend reminded me recently - as I was lamenting my inability to get going on several projects (including, oh, earning an income again) - that winter is not a time for growing, for starting new things. It's a time for drawing inwards, holding onto what one already has. Then I found a note I wrote to myself (when? on a bus? in a doctor's office? i couldn't remember), that said basically the same thing: "Don't do more. Do more with what you have."

I can't think of a better sentiment to start the winter season with, especially this particular winter season. Hence my return to this blog after a brief absence. Yes, I have time on my hands, and yes, I'd rather be blogging right now than buying Christmas presents for people who don't need another single "thing" (ever, for the rest of their lives - I certainly don't) - except, maybe, that most elusive non-thing, the negative space, the space between the branches - or should I simply call it - breathing room?

Tree Shadows

2008-12-23T09:42:00.000-08:00

Song for the Bleak Midwinter

2008-12-23T07:57:00.000-08:00

I miss singing Christmas carols. One of the most wonderful things about my childhood was that there was always music, at home, school, or at friends' houses. Someone was always playing piano and singing, especially at holidays. I realize now that this is not the norm for everyone - and if I want carols in my life now, I will have to seek them out. People are not out "wassailing" as they are in Dickens novels or old MGM films - or perhaps they are, on Beacon Hill or some toney area of Boston, but they certainly aren't in Somerville.

I will also have to purchase a piano at some point, which seems rather daunting to my debt-riddled budget, but I shouldn't let cost get in the way. After all, during one of the bleakest financial moments of my childhood, I remember my mother went out and bought a piano for 10 dollars - yes, 10 dollars (in 1972) - at a yard sale. It was an old upright (what brand? i don't remember), and completely out of tune, which didn't seem to stop any of us from banging on it and singing our little hearts out (we were most likely out of tune ourselves, after all).

Anyway, this was one of my favorite Christmas carols that I sang growing up. Not exactly cheerful - and it gets rotely religious after this first verse - but it has a melancholy, indeed doleful, quality to it that always pierced through my bones. And I love the phrase, Snow on snow, because that's exactly what it feels like to look outside while it is snowing: snow on snow on snow on snow, like an endless loop of white.

In the bleak midwinter
Frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron,
Water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow,
Snow on Snow,
In the bleak midwinter,
Long ago.

Preparing for Turkey Day

2008-11-26T11:42:00.000-08:00

Fall is such a busy time. The season changes so quickly - and so beautifully - that I feel an almost urgent need to see and do everything I can to savor its richness while I can. My "harvest" this year (because I'm not a farmer - yet) has been lots of and lots of photos and little paintings of fall-like things: gourds, pumpkins, maple leaves, etc (and, as you can see, the Bell's seasoning packet - a package I've loved since childhood). There are still about two dozen things waiting to be painted on the assembly line (more gourds, more pumpkins, apples, etc). How will I possibly do them all with everything else I want to be doing at the same time - namely, cooking cozy stews at home, making a fire, walking through the woods, stringing holiday lights outdoors (to prepare for Christmas!), making pillows for the window seat (oh yes - now I have an urge to SEW for the first time in my life, good grief!), and so on and so on and so on.

And now it's Thankgiving and it's time to stop painting the Bell's seasoning and actually use it in a recipe. Time to turn my creative energies toward home, and the hearth - which I love doing, believe me - it's just that I wish I had two (or three) of me to do it all!

(That, of course, is my inner Martha Stewart talking. Fortunately, my inner Charles Bukowski is there to get her drunk and poetic later on, and forget all this striving-for-perfection holiday nonsense!)

This Life One Leaf

2008-11-26T11:34:00.000-08:00

as freedom is a breakfastfood or truth can live with right and wrong or molehills are from mountains made -long enough and just so long will being pay the rent of seem and genius please the talentgang and water most encourage flame as hatracks into peachtrees grow or hopes dance best on bald men's hair and every finger is a toe and any courage is a fear -long enough and just so long will the impure think all things pure and hornets wail by children stung or as the seeing are the blind and robins never welcome spring nor flatfolk prove their world is round nor dingsters die at break of dong and common's rare and millstones float -long enough and just so long tomorrow will not be too late worms are the words but joy's the voice down shall go which and up come who breasts will be breasts and thighs will be thighs deeds cannot dream what dreams can do -time is a tree (this life one leaf) but love is the sky and i am for you just so long and long enough

as freedom is a breakfastfood
or truth can live with right and wrong
or molehills are from mountains made
-long enough and just so long
will being pay the rent of seem
and genius please the talentgang
and water most encourage flame

as hatracks into peachtrees grow
or hopes dance best on bald men's hair
and every finger is a toe
and any courage is a fear
-long enough and just so long
will the impure think all things pure
and hornets wail by children stung

or as the seeing are the blind
and robins never welcome spring
nor flatfolk prove their world is round
nor dingsters die at break of dong
and common's rare and millstones float
-long enough and just so long
tomorrow will not be too late

worms are the words but joy's the voice
down shall go which and up come who
breasts will be breasts and thighs will be thighs
deeds cannot dream what dreams can do
-time is a tree (this life one leaf)
but love is the sky and i am for you
just so long and long enough

e.e. cummings

Painting Fall

2008-11-26T11:19:00.000-08:00

Wow! The weeks are flying by as fast as the leaves from the trees. This is part of what I've been doing instead of blogging lately. Check out that sexy butternut! Is that a butt or not?

Jesse Jackson

2008-11-05T15:21:00.000-08:00

Every time I look at this photo of Jesse Jackson, I start to cry. I voted for him in the presidential primaries in 1988, which seems like 100 years ago now. I can only imagine the mixed emotions he was feeling last night. But what I saw mostly on his face was a deep aching pride, a feeling that the fights he fought were not in vain.

Election Night/Faces in the Crowd

2008-11-05T15:11:00.000-08:00

I would have loved to have been in Chicago last night. We had to settle for watching the crowds on television, which was beautiful in itself. Just look at those faces. Something big is happening in this country. I'm glad I moved back in time to be part of it.

Sweetest Hangover!

2008-11-05T08:23:00.000-08:00

Remember that song? I think it was from the 70s, a female singer.

"I've got the sweeeetest hangover/
I don't want to get over"

That's how I feel today. Pleasantly hungover and still a little drunk, even. Not from alcohol, but just from pure bliss and relief. My eyes are having trouble reading the good news. I keep tearing up. It is just all too, too much to believe. But it is real. I live in America again! The America I know and love, the one who has been held hostage for the past 8 years. No more apologies, no more pretending I'm Canadian while in Europe. I'm home!

OK, there is still a lot to be done. The battle is hardly won - just look at all the things Bush wants to do before he leaves office (just to insure that Obama's work will be all the harder):

But we won. WE won. The country I know and love, the PEOPLE I know and love, who I always felt I needed to defend while I heard Parisians rail against "les americains" as if we were a nation of aggressive devils. No, no, no, I always wanted to say, MOST of us want peace, MOST of us do NOT agree with Bush and his policies, we've been railroaded by big money and big oil, this is not what we would choose if we had the power!

And now, finally - AT LAST! - we have shown the world just what happens when Americans stand up and fight for a cause they believe in, when ALL of us take to the polls and make our voices heard. I was especially proud last night to see all the young black and brown faces in the crowds on TV, faces that have been exposed to so much bitterness and cynicism - who are now crying and full of joy, full of hope and purpose.

This is truly a transformational moment for America.

And like most real times of change, it was preluded by so much doubt and negativity, so much conviction that "it's not possible." Every step of the way!

Obama can't win against Hillary; he doesn't have enough experience.
WRONG.

Obama can't win against McCain; he won't seem tough enough on foreign policy.
WRONG.

Obama is black, and Americans are too racist to vote for a black man.
WRONG WRONG WRONG!!

The optimist/dreamer in me is so happy to see all of those naysayers proven wrong! On a purely personal level, I feel vindicated, because I have always felt that people are mostly good, not bad, and it's up to our leaders to pull out our innate goodness, our "best selves." Of course it's so much easier to keep people in their comfort or default zones of ignorance and fear, which is what we've seen happen over the last 8 years, with Bush, Cheney et al. That's the easy way to lead. Just keep people apathetic and powerless; make people forget what being a citizen means, what a democracy really is (it isn't what we've had for the last 8 years). What I've loved about Obama from the beginning is his ability to motivate people, to make people WANT to do the right thing, and work harder than they're used to. He demands that we rise to the occasion as citizens of a democracy, that we don't expect our government to run by itself. And he makes us WANT to get involved. It's truly an amazing thing. (Hell, he made me pull my lazy butt out the door to go make calls and knock on doors for him - no politician has ever been able to do that before, even when I liked the candidate!)

On Voting, Ameri-European Relations, Pundits, and "Bamoa"

2008-11-04T14:12:00.000-08:00

Oh my god. What a day. What a day!!! I haven't been able to sit still. Have you? I should be teaching aerobics right now, or running in a marathon, or SOMETHING. My house is cleaner than it's been since I moved here. I almost yanked my arm out of its socket sweeping the front porch. I keep telling myself, No matter what happens, at least you'll wake up to a clean house! As if that would be a consolation...!!

But really. Seriously. Did you expect to get to this point? To be on the verge of electing a president who doesn't look like any other president we've ever had, whose name ends with a vowel? To be on the verge of electing someone who actually seems human??

Voting was easy (that seems like ages ago; it was at 10 this morning). As Tom Petty says, "the waiting is the hardest part." But I didn't do much waiting in line, not like what I've been hearing about (though I was surprised at the long line, for such a small voting precinct, and everyone around me commented on how they'd never seen it so long, ever). I certainly didn't have the nightmare of friend/writer/comedienne Jill in New York, who describes her voting day thusly:

"It was exciting at first, but soon it devolved into a long, horrible experience. I had to switch lines 3 times, each time having to move to a danker, hotter part of the school's basement, full of passive skittish elderly women and bossy, obsessive elderly men. It was hot down there and one man was so obese I thought he was going to pass out. I finally thought I was having a nice chat with an elderly voting official, until she said that long lines must be due to that "Bamoa" guy (her tag said she was a democrat for christ sakes!) and then after I pulled the lever and came out of the booth she smiled at me and PUT HER PALM FLAT AGAINST MY STOMACH!! Did she think I was pregnant? Was she wishing me years of good digestion? Did she put a hex on me? I almost pushed her over to get out of there! I want electronic voting!!!"

(LOL....oh Jill, I miss your blog! I hope you will start blogging again, the world needs more of your observations!)

Nerves have seemed a little frayed today, I can certainly attest to that. For instance, I had a ridiculous argument on the way to the polling place with my other half (i.e., hubbie), regarding whether or not our darling young pup should wear an Obama sash (see photo). What should have been a non-issue became a minor transcontinental schism, with me accusing Frenchie of being too "uptight" about the sash (hence, life in general), while he condemned my American tendency to make a party and show about EVERYTHING (well, OK, c'est vrai!), and not giving politics - especially voting - the proper gravitas it demands.

Well, as the kids say (or used to say, the last time I knew any lingo): We were just wiggin'. And I know we aren't the only ones. Emotions are running high! I just saw this in the nytimes - check it out. A sort of wordy mood ring for the electorate. Kind of cool to see the rest of the country's feelings as the countdown continues...

What else? The whole world is watching what's going on in the States right now. That's another thing that is making today feel so exciting, nerve-wracking, important, and all the rest. Here's what a French friend wrote:

J'ai très envie d'être avec vous ce soir, de parler avec vous, bref d'être au coeur de cet événement. En tout cas, je ne vais pas dormir cette nuit et j'espère qu'à 4h, on saura que l'Amérique a voulu se réconcilier avec le monde !!!! même si ça ne change pas grand chose au plan des grandes options politiques, c'est fondamental sur le plan symbolique.

(she's basically saying that she wishes she could be here with us, she won't sleep tonight, and how important this race is for the world, symbolically if nothing else...)

Then there's good old Bob Herbert (god, I LOVE him), who reminds us that voting today is just a tiny sliver of what needs to be accomplished:

"As important as this choice has become, the election is just a small first step. What Americans really have to decide is what kind of country they want.

That decision will require more than casting a vote in one presidential election. It will require a great deal of reflective thought and hard work by a committed citizenry. The great promise of America hinges on a government that works, openly and honestly, for the broad interests of the American people, as opposed to the narrow benefit of the favored, wealthy few.

By all means, vote today. But that is just the first step toward meaningful change."

Bob, I couldn't agree more. There is so much more work to do!

And I have so much more to say. But I'm about to faint from all the excitment. I've superstitiously not looked at any polls yet. And it's after 7 pm! Time to start watching TV and getting sucked into all the sound and fury. Will this be a perfect storm for Obama? As my stepfather Carl just said on the phone, "Even Mother Nature doesn't like John McCain" (the weather is gorgeous here, and supposedly everywhere else along the east coast and midwest).

OMG - the next time I write we'll have a new president!!!!!!!

Day of Reckoning

2008-11-04T04:57:00.000-08:00

Election day is here. It is a clear, cold day in Somerville, perfect November weather, perfect day to go and vote, make my voice heard again for the first time since 2004. So much has been said and done, not said and not done, since that last election day. Is there still time to repair the damage, to heal the wounds? Can we ride on the beautiful momentum of this campaign to actually effect real change in this country?

I've been thinking about patriotism in the last few days, what it means, specifically, what it means to me. It is one of those labels, those empty words, like "values," which can be twisted to use in any context. I started thinking about it after talking to a McCain voter in New Hampshire on Sunday, who said he questioned "Obama's patriotism," pointing to the fact that Obama hadn't served in the military as the ultimate proof of his unpatriotic nature.

It was a predictable comment coming from the McCain side, and I could have given the whole "he's got a great foreign policy team; Colin Powell endorsed him", etc., to make Obama look "tough," but I wanted to respond to the meaning behind the words. Like, Why is serving in the military the only way to be patriotic in this country? Why isn't community service, helping the poor, seen as equally patriotic, equally important? Shouldn't the real measure of pride in one's country be tested on an everyday scale, as in, what our country actually looks like to the average person visiting it? What it feels like, not only to drive on its roads (can you say "pothole"?), but also to listen to its people, to see what their lives are like, and most importantly, how we are treating our fellow human beings, here and elsewhere?

I haven't been back from Europe for that long, only six months. And I certainly haven't seen all corners of this country, or even of New England, where I live. But I have seen the flags waving everywhere (including right outside my bedroom window). I have seen the pride - sometimes earned, sometimes misplaced - in this country's supposed "values." And - I'll be perfectly honest - I have felt pride myself, at certain moments, when I see just how friendly, open, and downright nice Americans can be to strangers, to everyone. It warms my heart, after some of the coldness and rudeness I experienced (and watched others experience) in Paris. But I've also felt the opposite of pride - that is, shame (and anger) - when I've read about or seen firsthand what our government has done with America's wealth and power, how we've damaged our reputation around the world and left the average American (the real Joe the Plumber) out in the cold.

I don't know if patriotism is a "good" or "bad" thing, and that is a whole debate for another venue. But either way, I think if we're going to use that word, and build our ideals around it, then we need a new definition of patriotism in this country. Once again, as for so many things, I am looking to Obama to lead us in the right direction. And I think he can.

Foliage in the 'hood

2008-11-02T05:50:00.000-08:00

My favorite tree for foliage in the neighborhood is just around the corner, and it really is stunning right now. I stood for ten minutes the other day taking pictures of it, and was joined by another photographer who was on his way to a workshop - but felt compelled to stop and take pictures as well. We both just stood under the tree and marveled at the beauty together (and no, we didn't exchange numbers - I'm a married woman, get your mind out of the gutter!)

I love the fact that the residents haven't bothered to rake the leaves, letting them spill over the lawn and sidewalk and street, creating the most beautiful, multi-colored (and pleasingly audible) carpet.

By the way, did you know why leaves turn red?

I was curious, so I did hours and hours of research about it - NOT! I spent 3 minutes searching on the internet and found it on this site:

"Leaves get their green color from chlorophyll, a pigment found in plant leaves that enables them to process sunlight. Fall's shorter days and cooler temperatures cause the chlorophyll to move from the leaves to the branches, trunk and roots, and the yellow and orange pigments that are always present become visible.

Other chemical processes produce the brilliant reds, purples and bronzes. On warm fall days, sugar is produced in the leaves of some trees and then trapped by the chill of night. As sugar accumulates, the leaves turn brighter red."

Talk about a sugar high! So is that why they're called sugar maples? Feel free to do more heavy "research" and get back to me!

First Soup of the Season!

2008-11-02T05:48:00.000-08:00

This was actually from a couple of weeks ago. The photo doesn't really, uh, do it justice. It was a combination of split peas, garlic, and sweet potato. Yum yum yum. It kept me going for three days.

*****

Note (written a few hours later): Um....I just re-read the above sentence, and realize what it sounds like. Oh well. Blame it on euphemisms!

Edward Hopper House

2008-11-02T05:46:00.000-08:00

I walked by this house in my neighborhood and felt like I was looking at an Edward Hopper painting. I love the oval window and the pumpkin (yay! pumpkin!) on the front porch, adding a touch of color to what is mostly stark white. It's rare to see a house of this kind (especially in the city) left so simple, so visually uncluttered. It looks more like it belongs on a wind-swept isle off of Maine, or Nova Scotia, than right in the middle of Somerville.

Gourd Still Life

2008-11-02T05:42:00.000-08:00

I couldn't help thinking of DeChirico when looking at this. Something about those strange shapes and shadows.

Pumpkin Carnage (or, Reservoir Puppy)

2008-10-31T14:11:00.000-07:00

Warning: the images you are about to see are disturbing, and not for the faint-at-heart (or pumpkin-lovers). Nevertheless, we feel that they must be shown, for all those who believe puppies are " so cute 'n' cuddly." That poor stuffed cotton pumpkin didn't stand a chance! He's in the home for hollowed-out toys now. Along with his hollowed-out stegasaurus brother, and disemboweled furry-rope monkey cousin. Sigh. C'est la vie, c'est la guerre!

Happy Halloweeeeeeeeen!

2008-10-31T13:09:00.001-07:00

In my next life I swear I'm coming back as a pumpkin. I don't know if it's the bright orange color, the unashamed swollen fatness, or what, but pumpkins just seem to symbolize such sheer abundance and happy coziness to me. Be they giant or mini, round or oblong, ridged or smooth, carved into jack-o-lanterns or left to rot on the vine - pumpkins, oh pumpkins! are friends of mine!

And now you know just how truly - madly - deeply - in love I am with pumpkins! Kinda scary, huh?

Dialing for Obama

2008-10-30T23:22:00.000-07:00

In spite of the encouraging poll numbers, I've been getting nervous about Tuesday's election (I know, join the club). So nervous in fact, that I finally did what I said I couldn't do, or wouldn't do - I made calls for the Obama campaign. I had a lot of resistance (fear) about doing this, but in the end it was so painless - especially since 2 out of 3 calls I got an message machine - that I kicked myself for not having done it sooner. It helped to be in a room with lots of other people doing the same thing. Also, these also weren't cold calls - I was calling MoveOn.org members to ask them to volunteer, so they were people sympathetic to the cause. Some of the responses (when I did get a live person) were interesting, even humourous. One man answered the phone and turned out to be the father of the MoveOn member - who was 11 years old. One woman, when I asked her if she could volunteer for Obama this weekend, informed me very politely that she was voting for McCain. Oops. Another man replied to my scripted question of "How are you doing tonight?" with a partly sung litany of complaints, country-music style, complete with Southern accent: "Overworked, underpaid, broken-down, downhearted..." etc. He said he couldn't volunteer because he was disabled, but he was getting a ride to vote. His humourous way of answering the phone - and rising above his own problems - made my night.

Several people, when listing the reasons they couldn't volunteer this weekend, touched on the very issues that Obama is running on. One young man whispered into the phone "I can't talk, I'm at work" (it was 8 o'clock at night) and said he is working two jobs to make ends meet, and has no time to volunteer, though he would sincerely like to. An older woman said she couldn't come out because she has to take care of her disabled mother. Health care, the economy. Up close and personal.

But I was heartened to hear the people who already were volunteering - mostly older (I was calling Florida), very passionate, very involved. They put my feeble last-minute efforts to help Obama to shame. Or rather, they reminded me how real change happens: little by little, one conversation and interaction at a time. Isn't this how history is written? Could it be possible that we are finally getting a chance, with this election, to write (or indeed, right) American history ourselves?

Not-So-Still Life with Puppy (3 weeks and counting)

2008-10-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

Everyone warned me that having a dog would change my life - and they were right. What I didn't know was exactly how it would change my life, that is, beyond the obvious pee and poo issues, and having to hide all objects worthy of chewing (i.e., everything that is not made of iron or hot lava - on second thought, you have to hide those things too). Life has changed on so many levels, from how I get up in the morning (and when), and how I plan my day (can you say puppy-centered?), to my ability to live in a messy house, which I never thought possible and now (surprise, surprise) seems to be the norm.

Life outside is different too. I am seeing the world through puppy's eyes, which are low to the ground and scanning every inch of dirt. Just taking our morning walk, over streets that I've already walked countless times since moving here, I am noticing so many things I didn't notice before. For instance, I never noticed how much trash is lying around our neighborhood! Before this, I thought of our area as relatively clean. Now I see that I wasn't looking closely enough, or I was purposely shutting out the elements in the landscape that bothered me. There is trash everywhere - woven in amongst the leaves and grass and tree roots. And for Lottie, these candy wrappers and soda cans and "mystery" trash items (not to mention other dog feces, GROSS), are unbelievably interesting discoveries, which merit complete and total oral exploration. Which means I am constantly pulling on her leash, saying "Leave it" (which she'll do, if there's a treat involved), while the latent community activist in me is actually starting to wonder about organizing a neighborhood clean-up. Or talking to the folks at the church school nearby, whose parking lot seems to be a particular depository for trash. Can't they get a group of kids together and clean up this junk? Make it a school project, for credit? Put handmade signs on the grass to deter littering?

Wow. And I thought I was just going out for a walk....! This is what happens when you settle down in a home in the sort-of-suburbs with a dog. One minute you're walking your dog in the neighborhood, the next minute you're screaming through a megaphone at a rally of "citizens against littering." Yikes! Or should I say, Woof!

Dreams from Barack

2008-10-19T07:19:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about the upcoming election. Thinking about it when I wake up in the morning, thinking about it when I fall asleep. Even dreaming about it (which shouldn't be surprising - when you watch upwards of 3 to 4 hours of MSNBC every day, the content is bound to end up swimming around in your unconscious). Obviously, I am not alone in caring about what will happen on November 4th, who will win. The suspense, as they say, is unbearable.

But beyond the polling stats, the back-and-forth noise on talk shows, the spin and the fury of politics and the media, there is a real decision to be made in this country. For this country, and for the world. It's easy to lose sight of why we are here, many million dollars' worth of campaign advertising later, glued to the television, gleeful to see our candidate in the lead. The whole thing starts to have a certain horse racing quality about it (quite literally, in fact, for those folks who are betting money on the election results).

But what does it all mean? What does our faith in this one man say about him, about us, and the kind of world we want? Does it say that we are just eager followers, swept up in the excitement of a charismatic personality? Or are we just dreamers, like the folks in the 60s, thinking that all we need is love (or Barack)?

Hmm. I don't know. Is it really so naive to think that one person can change the world? Doesn't history show us all sorts of examples of exactly that? Can't we all agree that George W Bush has changed the world decidedly for the worse, in the eight years he has been in office? Isn't it possible that another person, another kind of person, with another kind of thinking, could help reverse some of the negative, damaging things that have happened over the course of this presidency? Couldn't we have four years - or eight years - of positive, enlightened changes designed to benefit humanity and the planet, not just corporations and certain individuals?

I've believed in Barack Obama since the beginning, when I first heard him speak. It wasn't just what he said, but his whole demeanor and how he said things, how he responded to questions in interviews. Here is a person who listens and actually responds to what is being asked, in a thoughtful way, who doesn't seem to need to prove himself with every single statement he makes, or attack his questioners for challenging him. Here is someone who looks before he leaps, who seems both confident and humble about his personal power, a quality whose importance can't be overstressed after so many foreign policy disasters by our leaders. Think of Nixon, trying to show his "manliness" by staying in the war in Vietnam, or Bush himself, playing cowboy with American (and other) lives. I think if Sarah Palin were President (perish the thought!) she would follow exactly in those same bellicose, paranoid footsteps (she actually might be worse). It's not about gender. It's about having a chip on your shoulder and having to prove how "tough" you are, overcompensating for basic lacks in intelligence and capability by constantly attacking other people. It's about being a bully. And that is something that Barack Obama decidedly is not, thank goodness.

Maybe because I've known so many crazy, angry bullies in my life (and seen the havoc they wreak on a small scale), I am more invested than the average person in having a leader who is psychologically at peace with himself, and not out to "get somebody" because of some past trauma which has never been corrected in his mind (which I deeply sense is the case with McCain). My gut feeling about Obama is that he is really, really grounded and sane, in the best possible sense of the word. The good news is that this gut feeling seems to be shared by people very different from myself (thus bolstering my own claim for sanity). Read what David Brooks wrote recently about Obama (and note that Brooks is a conservative, not liberal, columnist in the New York Times):

"...it is easy to sketch out a scenario in which he could be a great president. He would be untroubled by self-destructive demons or indiscipline. With that cool manner, he would see reality unfiltered. He could gather — already has gathered — some of the smartest minds in public policy, and, untroubled by intellectual insecurity, he could give them free rein. Though he is young, it is easy to imagine him at the cabinet table, leading a subtle discussion of some long-term problem."

Wow! Thanks, David, I didn't know you cared. Or look at the recent New Yorker article by Nicholas Lemann about the differences between the candidates' foreign policy attitudes:

“ "There is a degree of self-reflection, self-awareness, and psychological wholeness he [Obama] arrived at after going through a period of working through his identity as the son of a father from Kenya and a mother from Kansas," Richard Danzig, a Secretary of the Navy during the Clinton Administration, who was the last member of the Obama foreign-policy high command to join up, in the spring of 2007, said. “Having worked for two Presidents and with many Presidential candidates during the last thirty years, I have not seen one as psychologically well balanced, and as good about not injecting his ego into a problem.” "

Again, wow. Doesn't that sound like the kind of person we'd like to see sitting in the most powerful seat on the planet? Isn't it about time we had some sanity and reflection in the White House? Wouldn't that be refreshing?

Finally, going back to the kind of country we want, the kind of concrete changes one man could make, consider this from Sarah Vowell's op-ed piece in the New York Times this past August (yes, I've been saving these articles for the moment when I want to use them to make a point!):

"When Barack Obama talks about an America as it should be, I’m guessing the best of all possible countries he imagines would look awfully similar to the ideal America just about every registered Democrat would dream up. Picture this: a wind-powered public school classroom of 19 multiracial 8-year-olds reading above grade level and answering the questions of their engaging, inspirational teacher before going home to a cancer-free (or in remission) parent or parents who have to work only eight hours a day in a country at war solely with the people who make war on us, where maybe Exxon Mobil can settle for, oh, $8 billion in quarterly profits instead of $11 billion, and the federal government’s point man for Biblical natural disasters is someone who knows more about emergency management than how to put on a horse show. Is that really too much to ask? Can we do that?"

Both the dreamer and the realist in me cry out, Why not?

An Officer and a Gentleman?

2008-10-15T14:46:00.000-07:00

This was from last week's debate, in "town meeting" style (was it really only a week ago? So much news spinning in my head since then!). Mostly what I remember from that debate is that Obama seemed more bemused (and amused) than angry by McCain's antics, and Tom Brokaw acted more like a peevish third wheel than a moderator. The rest is blurred in my head by the sound of McCain repeating "my friends, my friends" over and over, as if he was at some sort of motivational seminar.

I would have posted it earlier but 1) I've been using someone else's camera (I stupidly lost mine) and I didn't have the needed hook-up for the computer, and 2) the new puppy has been keeping me on a short leash, if you know what I mean. (There is a lot to learn about being a dog owner, not least the fact that you need to get pretty good at managing your time if you want to get anything else done. I am still in training...)

Anyway, I'm preparing to watch tonight's debate in my usual way: make and eat a good dinner, and then try to digest it without heaving while watching John McCain smirk and giggle his way through a veritable smorgasbord of half-truths.

I really hope he doesn't say "my friends" over and over tonight, like he did last week. I swear, if he says that one more time I might have to be taken away on a stretcher!

Puppy Trumps Politics!

2008-10-08T07:19:00.000-07:00

Last week I tore myself away from MSNBC and daily news blogs about the election long enough to go out and find a sweet, darling, dear little puppy! Her mother had been abandoned in the woods of Tennesee and brought up to New England with her litter, who were then fostered by people in a great organization called Save a Dog. Now Lottie is "ours" - or, to put it more accurately, we are hers. I gotta say, there's nothing like a romping, playing, chew-toy chomping puppy to make you forget about the blather of politics for a while!

(Note: normally I don't include photos and personal information about friends on my blog, for privacy's sake, but I don't think Lottie and her kind pay much attention to the internet. Their version of the world wide web takes place in real time, outside, usually around the sides of trees and corners of buildings...)

The Many Faces of Sarah Palin

2008-10-07T16:50:00.000-07:00

Most of the adjectives I used to describe McCain during the debate could be applied to Palin as well. Smug, sarcastic, and so on. But that second to last photo looks positively demonic. Maybe we can get her witch hunting preacher from Kenya to come and perform an exorcism?

Battle Fatigue

2008-10-06T16:22:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a week since the last debate and I haven't even had the heart to write about it. At a certain point, it just feels depressing that someone like Sarah Palin can even be allowed to share a stage with someone like Joe Biden. They don't look like they're from the same planet, much less time period. He looks like he could have hung out with Ben Franklin, and she looks like an eager game show contestant. An eager vindictive game show contestant.

The good news is I think Obama is going to win, and soon Sarah Palin (and John McCain) will be in ancient history. Good riddance!

A Night at the Debate

2008-09-27T10:12:00.000-07:00

Like millions of others around the world, I watched the first U.S. presidential debate last night. It made me more upset than ever about the thought of a McCain presidency. Here are some adjectives to describe what I saw:

McCain: sneering, smug, contemptuous, rude, aggressive, sarcastic, lying, mean

Obama: gracious, poised, smart, eloquent, polite, deferring, stern, respectful, righteous, nice

Yes, it matters to me that Obama is nice, because it shows he is someone who can get his point across without attacking his opponent, and he can remain respectful (and on topic) even when someone else is pelting him with lies and unfair attacks. Do I want this in a president, someone who is going to be representing U.S. interests at home and abroad? You betcha!

It is so clear to me, from watching how they handled themselves in the debate, and throughout the last few weeks during the economic crisis, who is better suited to the job of President. But I know how others will see it. McCain being "tough" on foreign policy. Obama being too professorial. Etc. Even as I watched I could feel McCain's pull, could understand what others were no doubt seeing. The older white man - Santa Claus and good old boy and army commander and father figure rolled into one, all the old archetypes, making us feel safe and reassured in an uncertain world. Oh good, there's a white man, a white-haired elder, a patriarch, at the wheel.

But what if we're driving a brand-new car? A car that no one has ever driven before? On a road which has yet to be built?

I see Obama as a new, different kind of leader for this country. And not only because he is young and of mixed race. He is looking outward, at the rest of the world, with eyes that are still clear and open, and untainted by the usual American arrogance. He has an understanding that McCain will never have, because McCain's view of the rest of the world has been indelibly stamped by war experiences. Obama grew up knowing about different kinds of people, different ways of life, by living them. He is part of the world in a way McCain will never be.

It was interesting to note that during the debate, only Obama mentioned the importance of American's standing in the world, how we are seen by others. This seems so basic, so important, and yet someone like McCain doesn't even seem to think there is a problem. I am amazed, coming back from Europe, how insulated people here still are. How truly incurious and myopic they are when it comes to seeing America's place in the rest of the world, or how others see us. How anyone could ever consider voting for someone who could sing "Bomb bomb Iran" and laugh about it, is beyond me. Do we really not care about the rest of the world hating us?

For all his supposed "inexperience," Obama seems to have a much clearer head for foreign policy. He understands that we are not the only country in the world, and just because we want to end the war doesn't mean that we are "losers." McCain is too attached to the idea of winning, too attached to his own bitterness about the way the Vietnam War ended (don't take my word for it - read this month's Atlantic cover story: "Why War Is His Answer") We don't need a war hero in the White House, as cozy and all-American as that might sound. We need someone who is ready to think beyond the narrow walls of the war room, and lead us into the broad, clear daylight.

(I'm tempted at this point to start shouting, We need a new paradigm! but I feel a little silly doing it while alone at my desk...)

The Seven Dwarf Selves of John McCain

2008-09-25T14:46:00.001-07:00

Bashful

Sleepy

Clueless (aka Dopey)

Sleepy (again)

Grumpy (aka War Hero)

Condescending (aka Doc)

Martian (aka Happy)

Sneezy (aka Allergic to the Truth)

Full Frontal Absurdity

2008-09-25T09:23:00.001-07:00

A long time ago, in the Prehistoric era, back when I was still in college (when Pell grants still existed), I acted in a student production of Eugene Ionesco's The Bald Soprano (or, if you must be French about it, La Cantatrice Chauve). It was pretty much a play about nothing, with lots of crazy dialogue and absurd situations, involving people standing on chairs and screaming non sequiturs during dinner (in other words, a very accurate picture of my childhood). L'absurdisme, at its finest.

Where is Ionesco now, when we need him most? I can't keep up with the absurdity of the last few days. I mean, things were crazy enough already with the Wall Street mess. But now the absurdity has reached new heights, with John McCain as the head crazy train conductor. Threatening to postpone Friday's debate?? Cancelling Letterman at the last minute, saying he had to go to Washington to "fix the crisis" and then taping an interview with Katie Couric down the street while Letterman is being filmed??

Does he think the media won't pay attention to these things? Does he think everyone is as out of it as he is? Are we really picking on him, or is he setting himself up for ridicule?

I'm sorry McCain, but I have no choice but to put you permanently in the Home for the Hopelessly Absurd - hence my decision to make Tinkerbell your top advisor, and surround you with blinking hearts and cuddly animals as companions. Yep, that's my response to such craziness: make another Blingee!

On another, completely different absurdist note, I hear that Ed McMahon is doing a rap video! Say whaaat?? It's about foreclosures, because - guess what? - his own home is about to be foreclosed. This was the guy who used to introduce Johnny Carson for pete's sake! You'd think he would have had a better pension plan. Honestly you just can't make this stuff up. It actually makes me feel better about my life and its own absurd twists and turns. And hey - if Ed McMahon can have a comeback at age 85 in a genre that wasn't even invented until he was middle-aged, then surely there is hope for my own dead musical career?

A Blog is Born

2008-09-24T10:15:00.001-07:00

Yep, that's right. Here I am, back in the blogosphere saddle after months of being "out there" in real life actually being a person, and not some semi-fictitious entity on the computer screen. Whew, what a relief to be back in virtuality again. Reality bites, you know what I mean?

I'm home sick today (nasty cold caught from adorable but infectious nephew), and having nothing better to do, I decided to create a new blog (god forbid I should be job-hunting or doing something practical!). I've been thinking about a new blog for a while, but I was stymied because I couldn't think of an appropriate title. Titles are very, very important to me; I literally can't start a project without them, which is why I have yet to write my memoirs (I like "Pearls Before Swine," but I'm afraid it might seem too bitter). A few people had already recommended titles along the lines of "My Mundane Life in Somerville", as a counterpoint to the title to my last blog, My Glamourous Life in Paris, and as you can see, I ended up with a title in this vein. Of course, the title of that blog was a joke - most days, I didn't consider my life in Paris to be very glamourous (unless you consider the smell of human pee romantic). But so many other people (all of whom didn't live in Paris, BTW) insisted on believing that it was, so I just said What the heck, and let the irony stand alongside the belief, and let the chips fall where they may (I have no idea what the last part of that sentence means; I might have a fever).

Anyway, the other thing I did today (oh boy! accomplishments galore!) was create this silly little Blingee thingy which you can see blinking and bopping above. I found out about Blingee through a website called Wonkette.com which is a bit in your face at times, but also very topical and smart. They had a Blingee contest for a Larry King show interview, which I found just hysterically funny, and I wanted to make one myself. Bear in mind that I'm not on Facebook, I don't know how to put images on my cell phone, and I don't usually use cute little icons or even happy faces in my emails. But for some reason Blingee spoke to me, and I had to make one. I guess the latent troublemaker and graffitist in me couldn't resist.

Actually, the Blingee thingy is the reason I created this blog. Because after I made the Blingee (don't you love that word?), I had to send it somewhere, and I couldn't figure out how to send it anywhere else except Blogger, and since I desperately wanted to share it with people RIGHT AWAY, I just created the blog to host it, if you will. Incompetency is the mother of invention, or whatever.

So that's all. I'm off to drink a gallon of hot tea. I'll blog more later and fill you in on more totally random and unimportant information about my life here and whatever is making its way through the wampoline grapevine....hey! that could be the name of a wine! (see what I mean?? and just think, I have to deal with me 24/7 - lucky you, you can turn me off with a click!)

p.s. You're probably wondering why on earth I have a doctored photo of Rudy Guiliani, of all people, to launch my new blog. I have no idea either, except that was the first photo i grabbed from the files - taken at the Republican National Convention (aka, Evil People 'r' Us). There are many, many more photos, all of which are screaming to be toyed with - I might have to stay bedridden a little longer to deal with them!

p.p.s. For those in the know, No, this blog does not supplant our other blog, www.roadmuse.com which is a collaborative video blog with my Significant Other. I just needed another outlet for my equally significant but much-more-needy Self. (And the reason it's not a link yet - the reason I have no links on here yet - is because putting links on this template requires me doing HTML, which I absolutely hate doing and will put off for a rainy day, or at least when I'm not so feverish.)